Thomas H.

The only Way that leads to Truth

At the age of eight I had an experience for several nights, that heavily impressed my way of life and the search in my life. My soul was pulled out of the body and I was located in Inner Planes, which were completely unknown to me and frightened me because I couldn’t classify the experience. But nevertheless was the ever repeating incident in that nights so memorable, that from that on, I was on the search of the behind.

Short before these nightly experiences I was very sad, because something had been missing in my life. What it exactly was, I cannot tell any more, but it had moved me, to directly direct myself to God, because I didn’t know, how else I could obtain it.

Since I started searching, after that, what was behind these experiences, to me, my life seemed to had got a bit more complicated. To me there was no doubt, that there had to exist much more than only this physical being. 

Many years I didn’t talk to anybody about this experience, for fear, that I would get mocked. I knew, that nobody else could have understood it, who had not experienced it himself.

In the following years the world absorbed me more and more, so that the incident got a little bit into oblivion. I absolved my school career, even if I had faintly interest in the worldly teachings. Even so I knew, that I had to pursue my worldly duties.

Kirpal Singh said:

[…] The worldly duties are as necessary as the spiritual, and if you make the best use of them in a detached manner, all is well; but if not, day by day you will recede farther from God. To gain the utmost benefit from this human life, given to us with such Great Blessing, the price we must pay is our mind. […]

Satsang –
The thousand headed Serpent,
held by Kirpal Singh, 1894–1974

published in:
Sat Sandesh / November 1970

In the most things of the conventional life, I couldn’t identify the right sense for me. But nevertheless I outwardly adjusted myself as good as possible to my fellow human beings. Inside however I seemed to be far away from all that. There were only very few worldly things, which interested me and so ‘The School of Life‘ got a big burden for me. Whenever it was possible, I withdrew into my own world. The cinema became eventually a kind of substitute world for me, where I could escape from the mostly rough reality. However it never was a surrogate for my inner, subliminal longing after something indefinable. Because, as I understood some time later, even the withdrawal from the worldly life cannot help us to realise God and to gain the final Unification with Him.

Kirpal Singh therefore occasionally refers to the following quotation from the Bible:

What does it profit a man if he gains possession of the whole world and loses one’s own soul.

And immediately afterwards He explained in a Satsang:

I do not mean that you should leave the world and go to the wilderness and lead the life of a recluse.

God has given you physical bodies. Maintain them. These are the temples of God. Maintain your families. Fulfil your duties. God resides in every heart. Others, as members of your family, have come in contact with you as a result of your past karmas about which you are not aware. God brought you together. Maintain your relationships. By Love serve one another. Do all that you can do in that way. This is an essential step.

Earn your livelihood by honest means, by the sweat of your brow. This is also part of the show. You must maintain your physical frame. It is the temple of God, wherein you may discover Him – a rare privilege indeed.

Satsang –
The Kingdom of God,
held by Kirpal Sing, 1894–1974,
in Philadelphia, Pa., 1955

When I was looking films about Jesus as a child, a mix of weird fascination and deep sadness and a feeling of being lost in this hard, often pitiless world always overcame me constantly. Interest I found therefore above all in the subject religion. I noticed, that here was indeed talk of higher things, but I also felt, that a lot was interpreted in a worldly way. To me it was clear, that actually, it had to be different. So I developed an unspoken protest against a lot of clerical assertions in the lesson even then. Strictly speaking I found a lot of assertions downright ridiculous and illogical.

Kirpal expressed the problem of religions in the following way:

[…] But now they teach that Christ is the Light of the whole world – past and future. One Christian came up to me and said,

Those who believe in Christ will be saved, others will not.

And then I put him a question,

Dear friend, that’s right. Those who believe in Christ – Christ is a Power – all right. But those who came before Him, what is their fate?

Well, they are stuck fast like anything. This is the fate too of all the people in all religions. I think the Sikh Gurus made Their religion a very universal thing. The first thing They did was to put all the teachings of as many Masters as They could lay hands on in one book. Kabir is there, Namdev is there, Ravi Das is there, seventy-two Saint’s sayings are there. No other religion has done that. They started a very universal thing. And yet they are also stuck fast. They have forgotten.

Heart to Heart talks –
13. September 1970, Evenig-Darshan / Rajpur,
by Kirpal Singh, 1894–1974

At the age of 15 I started an apprenticeship, though it wasn’t the apprenticeship, that I had hoped for. At that time I was confronted with big problems and searched for a way, to withdraw myself from the unloved world. Often I saw no other possibility than to reach for alcohol. Today more and more teenagers regrettably tend to trying to suffocate their disappointment and their frustration in alcohol. This however is no solution.

Kirpal Singh distinctly expounds in a Satsang:

[…] You are a conscious entity. You have to rise in cosmic consciousness, and go beyond into the super-consciousness. The things which go to muddle your consciousness or make you morbid and lose your consciousness are to be avoided; therefore, leave off all intoxicants, liquors, narcotics, smoking and all kinds of drinks unnatural and artificial.

Satsang – The most natural Way,
held in Philadelphia, Pa. 1955,
by Kirpal Singh, 1894 – 1974

Apparently I had to reach rock bottom, to realise, that my live cannot go on and must not go on like this. Shortly after this insight, in my early twenties, my interest in Spiritual Knowledge came up again. I wanted to improve my life again and reach something in life.

I started, to deal with the esoteric way of life and searched after calm and satisfaction in autogenic training1 etc. It helped a little, to reduce my nervousness but my search after something higher, that shaped me at the age of eight years, kept going on.

So I initially started, to read many esoteric books. My interest grew, but at first I joined myself to different groups. I hoped, to end my search there and wanted to check, what these groups and organisations had promised so faithfully. But after about twenty years I recognised, that I cannot find my True Luck there and that I fell prey to interest groups, that merely conduct a profitable business and in a subtle way, rob the souls that come to them. When I realised this for me, I first of all fell again into a deep hole.

So I backed away and started, to continue my search. But to which organisation or group soever I approached myself, I recognised, that my honest questions never could be answered completely. Every time something remained open, never it was an ideal thing. A big precariousness and distrust against my fellow men came up inside of me. I exactly knew, that there is One Way out and asked myself, what sense my life should have, when I do not find this One True Way.

Communion with Naam – Sound Principle – is like a blind man’s guiding stick; through communion with Naam the spiritually blind find their way to realisation.

It is the only True Way to reach beyond the hand of man. God is really nameless, but through Naam we can reach to Him. This is why all Masters have sung the high praises of Naam all through the ages in various languages.

Satsang –
Is your Destiny awakened,
by Kirpal Singh, 1894–1974

Through a friend from Cologne I then became attentive to the organisation ‚Eckankar‘ and also visited some meetings of that organisation and although I once could see a glimpse of blue Light at one of those meetings, I recognised, that also here something was wrong and that especially people with big donations were preferred. That souls occasionally see slightly Light or hear the Sound Current at the false organisations is a result of their experiences of past lives. It is their good destiny, that they are allowed to remember the Divine Connection in this degree. And when they once come to deep rest, this remembrance often awakens in them again. However this is not ascribable to the respective organisation, where they just are. The criterion is indeed, if one can expand the experience, that one may have again in this life because of karma. And I after all the years, that I spent with all the different organisations, have never been able to expand any experience.

So I remained carefully and initially researched on the internet, if there were any counter reports about this organisation, or if people had made negative experiences with Eckankar. 

Sometime amidst all the reports, that I read, the name Kirpal Singh came up. When I put in that Name through a searching machine and came upon the first pictures of Kirpal Singh, I was immediately fascinated in a special way. Alone when seeing His eyes on the pictures, I knew, that there had to be something. From now on I kept on searching restlessly. I started, to investigate more exactly and came upon many reports by and about Kirpal Singh. 

For nights on end I deepened myself into the texts and often read until the early morning hours – sometimes until 5 or 6 o’clock in the morning. The more I read about the Surat Shabd Yoga and Kirpal, I recognised, how a special Inner Happiness overcame me. I ordered a lot of books from Kirpal and began reading: ‘The Crown Of Life,’ ‘The Wheel Of Life,’ ‘Spirituality – what it is.’ I became vegetarian and changed my way of life.

I asked myself, how I could gain the contact with this Power and came across the organisation ‘Unity of Man – St Gilgen.’ But even during the e-mail contact I recognised that also here my questions were not completely answered and so I firstly remained cautious and kept on researching.

Finally I came upon a site, on which a True Disciple of Sant Mat reported, what is going wrong in this world and where all the organisations, which claim to be able to give Naam, actually tend to. At first I was appalled by the definite words, but at the same time I recognised, that here it is reported very honestly and evidently about way things actually are in this world. I recognised, that with many things, that are wrong and have nothing to do with Truth, compromises are made by the organisations and groups, that cannot distribute Naam, and in this way untruths get included imperceptibly for the most. I was very thankful, because in this way many illusions were taken away from me. Above all, because it was not only explained, what went wrong and why it should be otherwise, but also how it should be and could be. In this context I came across the main portal of Sant Mat – – and established contact to the True Satsang. All my questions were answered in detail and so I recognised, that now I was put on the right way. 

Someday I asked, if I may visit the Satsang and eventually I got invited in early May in the year 2009. Even before I physically came to the True Satsang, it seemed to me, as if some attention was lying upon me, an invisible presence, that protects me and guides me. I was fulfilled with an Inner Happiness and recognised, how I was risen inwardly.

I remember exactly, when I inquired about Eckankar by the Sant Mat Team. I received an answering-mail, in which the organisation Eckankar was explained exactly to me, and in which also the difference to the science of Sant Mat was elucidated to me. On this day, on which I received this e-mail, the first time in this life I was blessed with the conscious hearing of the Sound Current. Since then the Inner Sound has become my permanent companion.

Then, when I was sitting in the Satsang in Leipzig in May 2009 for the first time , I furthermore got blessed with the experience of a little Light. And the more often I visited the True Satsang, the more intensive became the contact with Naam, even before my initiation. One evening, when after Satsang I spend the night in the available guest flat, the bells sounded very intensively within. Also Kirpal’s eye I was allowed to see out of radiating golden Light.

When I was in the presence of a True Disciple, I often recognised, how my soul was pulled up and raised. And when I was together with more disciples and we were talking about Truth until late at night, I recognised, how the Sound Current got more powerful about 2 o’clock at night – Amrit Vela – and came from above; even before the initiation instructions.

I thank the Almighty, that in the end He again brought me on the right way, as it already was in the olden days and as it has been my strong yearning in this world since such a long time.

My way has not yet come to an end. I just begin to ‘walk’ again. But most important is, that it is the Right Way and the Only Way. Since this time the life has become less complicated and a lot of things seem to clarify little by little to the best in a calm and steady way. Since my initiation on 2nd October 2011 this circumstance has increased considerably.

Kirpal Singh once remarked analogously:

Hazur ever said:

When the Guru initiates somebody, He becomes the constant companion. He does not leave His disciple any more until He brought him into the lap of God.

Retranslation from a German version of the Satsang:
Die Lehre der Heiligen, held in September 1958,
by Kirpal Singh, 1894–1974

Since then I can acknowledge that the Divine Light within can be experienced in blue, red, yellow, white and golden radiation and that within the heavenly Bells, the Drum, the Thunder, the Flute and the Violin sound.

Even though I entangle myself in the traps of the Negative Power once in a while, You are watching over me and never loose hold of my hand.

T. Heedt

Thanks dear Father for Your unmeasurable gift and for Your infinite Love and patience. I am 46 years old, now it is up to me, to come up to it.


Footnote: 1) After I read the edition of the Anurag Sagar from Kabir with the detailed footnotes and illustrations many years later, as it is published on the site, I understood, that suchlike deep relaxing techniques only lead into the body instead of out of it and that therefore they are of no Spiritual Use, but keep the soul in the body.