Peter H.

Odyssey - My Way to Kirpal

Already in my youth I felt a yearning for God and always asked Him to help me; of course I usually asked Him for help if anything went wrong.

I remember, in the desert of Namibia (Africa), at the sight of the huge starry sky, a great yearning for God came over me and I stood there with tears in my eyes and secretly asked “Father let me be with You”.

Years later, in the spring of 1974, I worked in Vienna and passed a bookstore on my way to work. One day, I noticed a book entitled Jap Ji in the display. Several days passed, daily on my way to work, I kept looking at the book and thought: “a strange title”. One day my curiosity was bigger: I went in the bookstore, leafing through the book – Guru Nanak did not tell me anything at this time – but I bought it.

At home, I sat down and started reading the book. Never before has a book evoked such emotions in me as this one. I was deeply moved by stanzas like this, when it says in Jap Ji:

Even if one, through communion with the Word, merges into the Infinite, one still cannot fathom its depths, for the illimitable has no limits. It is enough that the stream loses itself in the ocean. Blessed are they whose hearts are filled with the Divine Love, and no earthly possessions compare with them.


His devotees praise Him, yet never attain full knowledge of the Infinite; like streams tumbling into the ocean, they know not the depths therein.

Even kings and emperors with heaps of wealth and vast dominion, compare not with an ant filled with the Love of God.

Jap Ji, stanza XXIII, by Kirpal Singh (1894–1974)

I was also curious about the description of Simran. I read that Tsar Peter the Great completely lost consciousness of his individuality when he focused on his own name. I sat down in the evening and focused on my name, within a short time a roar was heard in my head and I was drawn into a vortex.

The onset of panic and fear pulled me back to physical reality.

I wrote to the address given in the book, the Sawan Ashram Delhi India, out of to much excitement in German, and described my experience. Unfortunately in the translation of my letter some mistakes crept in, maybe it was also my formulation that was confusing. About a month later, on May 9, 1974, I received mail from India: it was a letter from Kirpal Singh.

The Master wrote:

[...] However, you need not entertain any fears whatsoever and instead inculcate more of faith in the ever-present gracious master-power working overhead. The dear ones who meditate under the guidance of the Master are invariably blessed with inner help, grace and protection [...]

This time I wrote in English and answered all His questions. On the 28th of June I got the answer to my writing – again from the Master personally. He wrote:

[…] I am glad to learn that you are interested in the Science of Soul. Your long search for Truth has ultimately led you to the right quarters. Those who yearn for the spiritual progress, arrangements are made in His divine dispensation to fulfil those yearnings through the Living Master. There is food for the hungry and water for the thirsty […]

I should get more literature and books from Mrs. Bianca F. (Master's representative for Central Europe) and read them carefully.

He further wrote that it was a basic requirement for an aspirant to adhere to a strictly vegetarian diet and to renounce from all kinds of alcoholic drinks, intoxicants, etc. (see the booklet The Spiritual Aspect of Vegetarian Diet by Kirpal Singh). I set a deadline and completely changed my diet from one day to the next.

In order to obtain more literature or books, I wrote to the address given in the letter and got a list with all the books, newsletters and other literature about Sant Mat. After I got the books and writings ordered, I read – at every opportunity - eager in the books and writings.

In September 1974, I received a letter from Mrs. Bianca F.: She wanted to meet me. I was very excited to be able to ask my many questions finally. Instead, I heard about the departure of our beloved Master in August. For me, a world collapsed; weeping bitterly, a picture of misery, so I sat there and Mrs. F. tried to comfort me – in which she failed in the face of my grief. She invited me to a meeting of the Viennese group of Satsangis, the same evening. I agreed. That’s how I met the brothers and sisters initiated by Kirpal Singh. The 14-day meetings, the so-called Satsangs, were no Satsangs, because after Kirpal's departure, there was no connection with Sat or the Truth at this place anymore.

It is also said that Satsang can only be called Satsang if a connection with Naam can be made.

The groups of initiates of Kirpal Singh in Munich, Vienna etc. are connected. Some stay so among themselves, others support the false and half-finished masters. These groups are always falsely called as Satsang group.

This is stated in the Anurag Sagar (page 472):

A man having Naam is never alone but always in two, because the Master is always with him. Nevertheless it is good when initiates come together for meditation. But if people have received Naam and do not yet rest completely in themselves, so that Kirpal fulfils their wish that others shall receive Naam too, meetings organised by them are no True Satsangs.

The Anurag Sagar in the edition of Bhai Jamal,
Part III - 5. In Kali Yuga - The Embodiment as Kabir (1398–1518),
Notes regarding today’s Confusions of the twelve Paths:
III / I, Wrong use of the term ‘Satsang’

Over time, the group grew by new interested persons and all waited for the revealing power of God in the form of a new master. And through the global support of so many initiates of Kirpal, Kal fulfilled the wish with the appearance of so many self-proclaimed false masters.

Applicable is the following text from Deliquents of Time:

All falseness with same tones heralding, false masters and their pursuers, once upon the way1, now delinquents2.

Manhunting as amusemnet, time has taken gusto on it, Kal knows no pity. […]

Footnotes: 1) Once they received initiation by Kirpal Singh and were put on the Way of Surat Shabd Yoga. Bet they did not want to change special points within them and they found their not conducive attributes affirmed by ways of Kal and associated themselves with them. See the Anurag Sagar by Kabir Sahib in the version with detailed footnotes and illustrations, as it is published on this website.

2) Proclaiming the false truths of Kal and confirming his ways, they mislead other souls. The greatest blessing a man receives when he is of help for others to get one step nearer to God. The greatest sin is to get a man one step away from God.

Poetry and Poems by Bhai Jamal
Deliquents of Time

Everything was too much focused on man and not on God, therefore he (Kal) had an easy game. The group splattered several times, therefore was getting smaller and towards the end only a few remained. Most of them were drawn to the at that time known so-called masters, as Thakar Singh, Darshan, Ajaib, etc. We who remained knew ourselves as the brave that were persevering and not confused.

Through a letter from Mrs. Bianca F. we find out that she, coming from Athens, would be with the "new Master" Soami Divyanand for a few days in Vienna and Graz. The excitement was great and we all were curious about the master.*

* At a later date, Ms. Bianca F. separated from this so-called master. She forbid all initiates of Kirpal who were amongst her to mess around further with him. But the damage has been done.

In her defense I have to confess that she was forced by me and others to take care of us spiritually. Thus she was clearly overwhelmed as a human being. May Kirpal help her!

Well, we, the group, visited together his lectures and there also a kind of ritual initiation took place. In truth, I had no experience of light and did not hear any sound either: I imagined having seen or heard something. Everyone else revealed, to have one or the other experience. This unsettled me at this time, did I have an experience or have I done something wrong? Once - during a stay in India - I cried almost the whole night praying to God for help. The next day I was reprimanded and became the instruction to concentrate better.

Over time, my doubts whether I follow a true master became ever greater. I talked to our group leader, who was a disciple of Kirpal Singh and had supported this false master – he too was troubled by doubts.

[…] That Master of Eternal Domain is keeping His doors open all the time and is calling aloud:

Bring into actual experience the Great Principle ‘Withdrawal before death.’ I am impatiently waiting for you to come up to me. I am nearer to you than the nearest. For those of you initiated by me it is a sacrilege and a mark of disgrace on both Love and devotion – if ye look upon anybody else as a Guru or Master-Guide.

You may, however, derive benefit from the company of some awakened personality who pays a visit to me everyday. He will not misguide you, but on the contrary, will unite you with me will instil my Love in you and will strengthen the Divine Link that binds and ties you to me. Moreover, in the capacity of Guru Bhai4 He shall be helpful to serve you.

Karma – A Letter from Hazur Sawan Singh

We informed the group of our decision to leave this “master”. The excitement was enormous and they tried to change our mind, but we remained steadfast.

A few days later, in the middle of the night, an event happened that at that time was inexplicable to me. Whether it was some kind of black magic or something else, I can not say, but it was very real. **

There was a sudden noise to hear. I woke up from the noise and was suddenly wide awake. The wall in front of me became like a fog, out of it shot a dark ball. At the same moment, I was enveloped by His grace with something transparent. An incredible calm embraced me, I was not afraid. The ball bounced off the shell and was thrown into the corner, came again after a short time, was thrown away again and then flew back with a roar in the fog screen and disappeared. During the following nights, I was pretty scared that this could happen again, but it did not happen again.

What a mercy to have His protection!

** There is a multitude of experiences that seem to exceed the limits of what we usually consider as possible. These can be very different. For example, the Theosophist Helena Blavatski reports the following:

When Madame Blavatsky visited Lahore, she had a disput with a number of people, and a professor exclaimed:

Madame, all you say is chatter and as possible just as flowers fall from the ceiling.

Madame Blavatsky replied:

Professor, do you think that’s really impossible?

Suddenly a shower of flowers fell from the ceiling and covered the table. Madame Blavatsky turned to the professor and said:

These things are in harmony with the laws of nature, but we are not familiar with them.

Scenes from a Great Life
by Kirpal Singh (1894-1974)

To better understand all this, it is helpful to read the book by Annie Besant The Doctrine of Growth. Kirpal Himself often quoted from her writings.

Kirpal Singh said, that if the magicians of this world stepped out of their inner silence and grasp the Sound Current, they would immediately break off their black magic.

Anurag Sagar in the edition of Bhai Jamal,

Part IV - The tale of the future:

The characteristic of Kurambh Doot,

Illustration ‚Kurambh Doot‘

I decided to leave Vienna and to move to Linz. So, 38 years went by without any contact and I did not know how things “out there” developed. Years in which the memory of God remained, but the world kept engrossing me again and again. I continued to be a vegetarian, also read books by Kirpal Singh and other masters. But God has His means to put a strayed back on the right track.

In January 2017, after an operation, I felt an intense desire for God and prayed that He would show me the way to Him again. When searching the Internet He showed me the page, which became important for my further development. I wrote to the email address asking for further support and the Holy Initiation. An appointment in June was given to me: to be so close to the finish and to wait so long – I prayed to Kirpal to give me an earlier date. He heard me and two days later, without my assistance, the date was brought forward to March by His Grace.

Arrived in Leipzig, I was picked up by a disciple of Kirpal from the station and driven to his apartment, where I spent the days in Leipzig. On my first conversation with another disciple, what happened in Anurag Sagar (page 443) about truth seekers who followed and trusted a false master is described:

[...] when they meet a Master, a Gurumukh or Khalsa, they cry for joy. They feel help, love and silence. [...]

The Anurag Sagar in the edition of Bhai Jamal,

Part III - 5. In Kali Yuga - The Embodiment as Kabir (1398–1518),

Notes regarding today's confusions of the twelve paths:

I - Imperfect Masters of Sant Mat

Further, the solution is set forth Delinquents of the time by Bhai Jamal:

Now the possibility to escape is great, catch the string which leads you Home, it comes from above and is to be caught from the right.

Remain still and do not move so that you right away through inactivity move on that Path that leads Home.

Be not satisfied with catching the string, become the body of sound on which He plays.

Let the Melody from Sat Lok resound within you, to rise immediately with directive, to praise Anami Lok in one step and one moment.

Daswan Dwar is not far, worshipping Him, only the One Who shows you the Path that leads Home with one step.

Shabd is the song, Naam the music and the play of light, It resounds at the Gaggan3, the sky that is hidden in your forehead.

Oh Master, teach us the Way! Let us be the brother4 for all, knowing that there is only You.

Bhai Jamal

Footnotes: 3) Entry to the astral plane, to the upper Spiritual Realm – also called the astral heaven.

Guru resides in the ‘gaggan’ (Spiritual Realm above) and the disciple in the ‘ghat’ (between the two eyebrows). When the two, the Surat and the Shabd, do meet, they get united eternally.


4) On this the Saints say:

Know it for certain that Shabd-Guru is the veritable Guru, Surat can truly become the disciple of the Dhun by being a Gurumukh (receptacle for the Word).

Bhai Gurdas

Poetry and poems by Bhai Jamal:
Delinquents of the time

It is also said:

He is the Lord and the Hosts together, the universe is to smale to comprise Him, but He is in the heart of a humble disciple.1

Who claims, that this is wrong, may step forward und his claim will become conviction2 that Kirpal is in all and everybody.

Bhai Jamal

Explanation: 1) Khalsa. 2) He will get right understanding. Only God Himself can procure this as the heart must be converted.

Poetry and poems by Bhai Jamal: Kirpal the Lord

During several personal conversations with that disciple, advices for my spiritual advancement were given to me, such as keeping a diary. A great help is to read the brochures The Seven Ways to Perfection and The Self- Introspection Diary by Kirpal Singh. All these scriptures and more can be obtained via download on the above mentioned website.

Now finally, I was able to attend a True Satsang. There, the words by the saints being read truly act as a soothing balm on the soul. I tried to participate in loving memory of Him - but the many new impressions affected my concentration.

The Significance of Satsang

I am entrapped in the city of thieves, while my life is a thirst for Satsang. In Satsang lieth much benefit, for it swiftly reveals the Master within thee, but fools do not understand its significance.

During Satsang is showered a veritable rain of Ambrosia. Indeed, thou hast held in thy fist worthless stones of worldly goods. And thrown away the diamond of the Word, whose value non can measure.

Kabir says, listen ye brother seeker, from this house (the body) take thy soul to that House.


Somewhat confused by the many corrections and information, I drove home with full head and good intentions.

After some time, what is written in the Anurag Sagar on the above topic came true:

[…] But as soon as getting out of that radiance they are caught in their old daily routines. However, in that situation a man must be exceptionally attentive not to put aside again what he has understood about Truth. Because once having found the Truth and putting it aside again, one does not know when such a chance as one have already had may return.[…]

The Anurag Sagar in the edition of Bhai Jamal,

Part III - 5. In Kali Yuga - The Embodiment as Kabir (1398–1518),

Notes regarding today's confusions of the twelve paths:

I - Imperfect Masters of Sant Mat

It was His Grace alone that brought me back to the path of Truth again and again.

August 2017 came, and at the Bhandara, in rememberance of the physical departure of Kirpal, I once again had the opportunity to come to Leipzig and sit in the company of an awakened soul. But he just wants to be treated and addressed like a normal person, his exclamation is: He, He, He, He is everything.

Again, during personal conversations Spiritual advices were given to me. At Satsang I was able to have Spiritual Inner Experiences through Kirpal's Grace.

Kirpal explains:

It is a matter of right understanding

Dear brothers and sisters

The people are crying for peace. How can we have it? Peace should start from our hearts. We should give out peace as prayed by Guru Nanak:

Peace be unto all the world over, under Thy will, oh God.

And for this, naturally, there must be a Spiritual Revolution.

The world is already in revolution; but this revolution should be different. This revolution should not be of the body, but against the evil propensities of the mind which keep us away from God.

This will be achieved if we give right understanding to the people at large, which will result in right thoughts. First comes understanding; then come right thoughts, which result in right speech, and right speech will result in right actions. The whole thing starts from right understanding.

You will find right understanding first lies in recognising

that there is a Maker of the universe Who is the Controlling Power and permeates all creation. This world did not come out of itself; there is a Maker, and scientists lately have come to this conclusion, that the whole creation is controlled by some Power which is conscious.

So this is the first thing:

the whole world is the manifestation of God, no East and no West, the earth below and the sky overhead is His manifestation.

[…] We are living in Him, have our being in Him, He is in us, outside us, above us, below us. Like fish we have our existence in Him.

That is right understanding. […]

Excerpt from Satsang ,The Coming Spiritual Revolution‘,

hold by Kirpal Singh, South Florida, 1972.
The English version of Satsang was 
in the English language Sat Sandesh March 1973 issue.

If I analyze myself carefully, I have still not properly internalized the dunning appeal of the Vedas:

Awake, rise and do not rest until the goal is reached.

Kirpal Singh says to that:

We are sleeping, as it were. Our superficial life is nothing less than sleep. We are identified with the bodies. We have been receiving impressions from the outside, through the organs of sense, so much so that when we close our eyes we see the same impressions reproduced. When we go to sleep, those very impressions are again reproduced within us in the form of dreams. We live a sort of superficial life, blind to Reality.

God, man and the Kingdom of God,

II: The Higher Values of Life

At the end of October 2017, I received an unexpected invitation to come to Spain for the coming January 2018; Being allowed to spend a week together with that soul gave me great impetus again.

It was a wonderful time to meditate a lot in His presence, to learn many things about the way and to receive recommendations for personal Spiritual development. At the feet of a True Guru Bhai, as described by Sawan Singh above, I received the gift of Naam through Kirpal's Grace. This great gift accompanies me to this day, thanks to His grace.

May the Lord know to what an unworthy sinner He gave this gift.

Guru Amar Das prayed:

We are but humble mendicants and beggars, Thou art the Protector of our honour, be kind and give us the alms of Thy Naam, so that we may remain always intoxicated in Thy love.

Guru Amar Das, Dhanasari M3,
quoted by Kirpal Singh in "The Prayer",

XXIII / (ii): Ask for a Guru (a Competent Living Master)

At Bhandara in February 2018, the birthday of Kirpal Singh, it were made possible to me to travel to Switzerland and meet that disciple again. Here I experienced the realization of the responsibility to walk this path with His grace.

In Anurag Sagar (page 743) it says:

The ignominy for the Path of the Saints are those Jivas-Sohang who got a competent and practical connection with Naam but do not devote completely to the Path and live in way that others may not learn anything from them.

The Anurag Sagar in the edition of Bhai Jamal,
Part VI. Epilogue: The Ignominy for the Path of the Saints

Also, the great gift of initiation granted by Kirpal Singh is associated with a responsibility of unimaginable magnitude.

It also states (page 749):

One deed of an initiate has an effect on the great mystery at the rate of one to one hundred thousand. – One right action causes one hundred thousand good actions within humanity, one failing or default causes the opposite. In the case of Those Who personify Naam or are its agent the proportion is one to infinite.

The Anurag Sagar in the edition of Bhai Jamal,
Part VI. – Afterword: 
the report after the great change

The human being is not evil; it is the ignorance of the contents of the law: As you sow, so shall you reap.

Slowly I realize the (whole) bearing of this great responsibility and would like to join the stanza in the Anurag Sagar (page 750), which states:

May the Almighty grant us the Grace to use this time we are living in to finally reach our very aim, that is, the realisation of Unity.

The Anurag Sagar in the edition of Bhai Jamal,
Part VI. - Afterword:
the report after the great change

Kirpal Singh says:

I came to reveal the Unity to you.

Furthermore, Kirpal said analogously:

Nobody before me and no one after me will love you as much as I do, please do not forget me.

For me, the most wonderful thing I've been able to experience since my first visit to Leipzig is this: The indescribably blessed thing is that Kirpal’s guarantee, which He expressed in the second letter, was fulfilled 44 years after His physical departure.

A modest petitioner

Peter H.


I prayed again and again, “Father, please let me be with You, do not leave me behind."

The prayer was answered. I was allowed to come to Switzerland for Bhandara in July 2018, received the Holy Initiation by His Grace and was put on this perfect way.

Through initiation, I received a direct connection with the Divine Power and had further experiences of Light and Sound.

Now God has given me a True Friend aside.

The last Darshan Kirpal Singhs on August 17, 1974 reported the following:

At this stage it now seems obvious that Master had some final words He wanted to say, and as He knew there were in fact some things lurking in our minds and needing to be resolved. He drew them out in the form of the following questions which enabled Him to give out what remained to be said.

But on this occasion after a while and without waiting for a question, He made this statement,

These are selections by God. They send the fruit – certain people to administer certain things. They know when to come and when they are going back. They won’t let you down, mind that.

[...] Someone else made a sign to ask a question. Master said,

Yes, please?

and was asked,

What type of life is most conducive to Spiritual Progress?

Master explained,

Keeping the commandments one hundred per cent, and developing receptivity. Then you’ll have one hundred per cent of the fruit.

The Last Darshan - Sat Sandesh,
September 1974, English edition